Oh God Oh Dear Help Me See

OH My God. I'm blind. I'm totally fucking BLIIIIIIIIIND! It's like waking up from an ignorant nightmare. Right now I just want someone to hit me really hard. (I know that sounded self destructive, but I just mean that I need to wake up)
It's hard to precise what it is exactly that makes me blind. Maybe it's studys. Maybe it's the bubble I'm living in. Maybe it's my own attitude and the ways I choose to follow. But that is not really the important part. The important part is that I see now.

A week ago when my very best friend Maja visited me I had the best time. Times of sitting in the sun on the beach of Brighton with some food and my guitar, it's life. One night when we were sitting at the pub, eric said to me "I really like the question you have on your bedtable "DO YOU READ STORIES OR DO YOU LIVE THEM?". And then he contiuned "Do you? I see you reading when you laying in your bed". At that point I woke up a little.

Every class with our british teacher ulf seem to make me feel down and every class with our american teacher nat seem to make me leave the classroom with a head full of questions and inspiration. That speaks for itselfs. Now. Why is it so hard to tell the people that are really important and great that they are really important and great? I just want to stop him and say Thankyou for making my day. Shy is not an acceptable excuse. Come on, everyone can be shy, you just have to find a way to deal with it. (im trying to convince myself if thats not clear enough)

So after Nat's lecture today I woke up again.

I don't want to see the world with these passive eyes anymore. No no no. Not my style.

Lynn Hirschberg

I have to introduce you to someone who always cheers me up. Lynn Hirschberg. Her interviews are on youtube. I can't put my finger on what she's doing to get so much out of every person she's interviewing but she's amazing. Is not that she seem to put pressure on them, she just simply get to know them. People you thought were a shell but all your prejudices fall. I love when all my prejudices fall. So when I feel sentimental, down or just in the need of some inspiration, I watch one of her interviews with interesting people and just feel great. I don't know much more about her than that she has written for the New York times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X_gjhZNGaI&NR=1

So, so, so, so.

Niklas - "If you feel like you're coming nowhere, the only thing you can do is to go for a beer"
Me - "What if you feel like you're coming nowhere all the time....."
Sara - "hahhaha, then you have to go for many, many beers. All you can do!"

... I love you as exiled souls love each other when they meet in the middle of the desert." Paulo Coelho

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